Dave's Talk

Dave was asked to speak in Sacrament for Father's Day. They knew he couldn't be there but wanted him to write it and someone else would read it. Brother Owen in our Ward has a wonderful speaking voice so they asked him to do it. When Dave was announced as the first speaker by the Bishop, the Bishop got so choked up and teary eyed he could hardly speak. The same thing happened to Brother Owen as he was reading Dave's talk. Dave made everyone laugh, cry and feel the spirit. He is so wonderful and I'm very thankful for him especially on this Father's Day. I had so many people come up to me after with teary eyes and tell me how wonderful Dave's talk was. I'm just so thankful he's mine. Go Dave! I think I'll put his talk in here so you can all read it!

Brothers and sisters, I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to you this morning, in this unique way. Before I begin, I would like to take this opportunity to thank several people.

As you know, I have multiple sclerosis, and I am legally blind. Because of this I have been severely restricted in the activities I can participate in. I would like to thank all of you who have inquired about my health from time to time. It is comforting to know that I am not forgotten. I would also like to thank Bill Anthony, our home teacher. Bill has been very dedicated in fulfilling his calling as our home teacher. Bill visits us religiously every month. We look forward to his monthly visits. Also I would like to thank Spencer Reece and the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood. Once a month they take the time to bring the sacrament to my home so that I may participate in receiving that blessing. I would like these young men to know how much I appreciate their performing the service for me.

I would also like to publicly thank my wife, Ruth. No one could ask for a better companion than she has been to me. Thank you Ruthie, for all that you do every day to make my life just a little better. You should all know that I love her very much and am humbled by her sweet spirit and loving nature. From time to time we have discussed the need for a larger home. But the one thing that has always kept us from taking that step is this Ward and the members here. We feel very blessed to know you and live among you. Thank you all for sharing your spirit and friendship with us.

Today is Father's Day. So I guess it is obvious that I will speak about fathers. Father's Day is celebrated in many countries around the world on various dates. In the US it has been celebrated in June since the early 1900s. It was not an official holiday until it was signed into law by Pres. Nixon in 1972. Mother's Day holds the record for the most long-distance calls made home on any one day during the year. However, Father's Day holds the record for the largest number of collect long-distance calls made home on any day of the year. So, what does that say about honoring fathers. I guess we should be grateful they call. Even though fathers are being honored today, what I have to say will include fathers, mothers, children and family.

We are a family centered church. We have the First Presidency's proclamation declaring the eternal importance of the family. Primarily responsible for that unit are the mother and the father. Indeed, parenthood could be considered a preparation for Godhood. Knowing this, we can see that it is a most sacred responsibility, given to us from our Father in Heaven. Understanding this perspective should encourage us to be the best mothers and fathers in the world. Heavenly Father has underscored this importance when he gave Moses the 10 Commandments. Exodus 20, verse 12, gives us the fifth commandment requiring that we honor our father and our mother. It is the only one of the 10 Commandments that provides us with a promise for obedience. By honoring our parents, we are promised a long life here upon the earth.

In my family, Dad was not a member of the Church. He was an honest man. He provided well for us, but there was the inevitable conflict when he would ask me to mow the lawn or wash the car on the Sabbath. When I sought counsel from my priesthood leaders, they wisely quoted the fifth commandment.

So what does honor mean? How do we honor our parents? The dictionary defines honor as: to show a courteous regard or behavior; to hold in high regard or esteem; to worship. Honoring parents has two dimensions. In the first we give honor to our parents. In the second we receive honor as parents ourselves.

Our parents deserve our honor and respect. They have given us life itself, have made many sacrifices, as they cared for us and nurtured us through our infancy and childhood. They have provided us with the necessities of life, they have nursed us through all our illnesses and through the emotional stresses of growing up. They may have provided opportunities for us to receive an education, and other opportunities for us to begin an independent life.

Our parents have done the best job they knew how to do in raising us. We must understand that parents are imperfect people who also make mistakes. As children, we sometimes question whether our parents deserve to be honored. Parents may be irritable and impatient, make poor judgments, or practice habits that are annoying or offensive to us. As difficult as it may be, we must remember that we are not exempt from the law that requires us to honor our parents.

In an article about learning to forgive our parents in order to better honor them, Sherrie Johnson wrote:

" At some point most of us... need to forgive our parents for some aspects of our upbringing. Unless we do, we feel unnecessary pain and suffering....

" Forgiving those close to us for faults in our relationships is possibly the most difficult kind of forgiveness. But it is an important key to a happy life and is absolutely essential to eternal progression." (Ensign, January 1985, page 58.)

In the July 1986 Handbook for Families we read this: " To honor and respect our parents means that we have a high regard for them. We love and appreciate them, and are concerned about their happiness and well-being. We treat them with courtesy and thoughtful consideration. We seek to understand their point of view. Certainly, obedience to parents righteous wishes and desires is a part of honoring."

As parents we should understand that we cannot demand the honor and respect of our children. This is something that must be earned by us and then given to us. Like all righteous desires, our desire to enjoy the honor of our children depends largely upon our own efforts and attitudes. When our children see us showing respect and appreciation, and regard for our parents, they will be more inclined to treat us the same way. We earn respect and honor by giving respect and honor. The Handbook for Families asks additional questions that may help us take a personal inventory of our worthiness to be honored. Here are a few of them:

"Are our lives righteous examples for our children to follow?

Are we honest?

Are we law-abiding?

Are our thoughts, speech, and actions pure and chaste?

Do we show love for them even when they least deserve it?

Are we fair and consistent with discipline?

Are we firm in setting reasonable limits?

Do we avoid scolding or ridiculing a child in the presence of others?

Do we show respect for a child's feelings, even when we cannot accept his behavior?

Do we give children opportunities to make their own decisions and choices?"

It is also important that we treat our spouse in a way that our children would desire to emulate. A loving example brings honor as nothing else can. We must cultivate and exemplify this correct principle to give our children a righteous example. Once a family begins to make special efforts to express
appreciation for parents and one another, they become pleasant memories that are fun to repeat, building solid family unity.

When we honor our parents, we bring happiness to them and we become better, happier people ourselves. And, as we sincerely and consistently honor and respect our children we will have the joy and blessing of being loved, honored, and respected by them in return.

About a decade after I left home, my father joined the Church. My brother and I had the privilege of baptizing and ordaining him a member. Dad died in 1994. And he left us with an example of righteous living, dedicated service, and humility. So today, I honor my father, not for what he was, but for what he became.

Well, I guess I have spoken about more than just Father's Day. But the Lord did not give us one commandment to honor father's and another commandment to honor mothers. Nor should we honor our fathers and mothers on only one day a year. To keep the fifth commandment requires a lifetime. By learning the correct principles of honoring our parents and teaching our children these principles, we become better people. Hopefully, we will use these principles to bring civility, courtesy and respect as we deal with others in our community and throughout the nation.

Lastly, I would like to share my testimony with you. I am thankful that the Lord has reestablished the Gospel in these latter days. I am grateful for the prophets that he gives us to guide us through these difficult days. I thank my Heavenly Father for all the blessings that he has given to me in my life. I am grateful for my parents, for my wife and for our children and their children. And for the joy that we share as a family. I am also thankful for this Ward, its leaders, and for the members and neighbors that we can share this Gospel with. I pray that we may all seek to live by the guidance of our Prophets and the principles of the Gospel that we may deserve the respect of others. These things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.